did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Randomize
