I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
