remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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