I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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