I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
