On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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