Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
