I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
