I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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