Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
