Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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