put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
ttyl tear gas
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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