you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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