I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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