She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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