hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
