great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
