To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
