wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
