I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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