i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this boner is exhausting
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
