It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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