i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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