Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You just made me feel so damn special
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
