i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
