Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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