My friends, they love my intelligence
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
