Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
