just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
