That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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