Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
