For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
