i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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