So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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