There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
