nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
