____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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