His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
