Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize