i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
