Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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