Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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