I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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