My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
