"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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