No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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