no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
