at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
