Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
