Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
