In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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