There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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