1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
