She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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