I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
