atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
