chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
