That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
