no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
