In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
