I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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