so that wasnt chicken after all
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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