Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
