I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
