hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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