I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
