This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
