We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
