dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
